Purify my heart

A couple of weeks ago we sang this song at church, and since then I have kinda noticed that God is really starting to dig away stuff and do what I asked Him to -- to purify me.  Its a dangerous request, and it hasn't been at all comfortable!
I know for sure that God is digging out a stump in my garden, I just don't understand what it is, and how to help it get out faster.  I do believe though that once it is gone, there will be a release that I need, and a new growth period.
In the meantime, God is faithfully, little by little answering prayers, and revealing to us what He has in store for us next year.  Today Jon was offered a 3day a week Music job -- that has just become available.
Although at times scary, it is exciting to be walking with God.  He is a good God, and I totally trust Him as my Father :-)

A pillar of cloud & prayers answered

Although I have been struggling lately with our 'unsettledness' and other issues related to settling into a new place, it is amazing really what God is teaching me, and how he is so faithfully answering our prayers!

**About a week ago as I was teaching at the school my nephews go to I asked a few questions about any permanent relieving days, and was told they were all covered for next year.  I prayed about it, and asked God to change that circumstance if He wanted me to work there. Less than a week later the Principal rang and told us she needed a person to cover her release day every Friday for next year!  Praise the Lord I now have 1 day a week at that school.  Amazing :-)

**On the weekend while spending some time with God, I was asking him to give us a really clear sign as to where we should be for the next 5-10 years (so we can actually start to bear fruit in a ministry) whether here or in Ukraine, or where?  Just a sign so I can know.  It was like He replied, that if I knew what was going to happen within the next 5-10 years I would start to get bored.  He wants me to move & groove with Holy Spirit as He leads, and that will keep me fresh.  If we had it all laid out for a few years, we would become stale.  It was then He gave me a picture of the pillar of cloud that Israel had while in the wilderness.  I felt God saying that He had a cloud for us, and that at the moment it was standing still, but that when He wanted us to move, then we would see and know that the cloud was moving.  But for now, be content, do what the Holy Spirit is laying on your heart, and wait for God to move the cloud.  Great & so re-assuring revelation for me!

**Yesterday we realised that we would need to move if we wanted our own space, and we were wondering how we would cover the rent.  We decided to pray about it. I started looking for a cheap place to rent up this way, and of course came up with nothing even remotely close to this area, or a price we could afford.  As we talked more about it, we realised that the answer was right under our own noses.  Jon's parents have a portacom across the road, that is small but prefect (esp the rent -- its free!) for what we need right now.  It will give us our own space, and a place to make into a home -- of sorts.  It's funny how God works, but I love living more and more dependent on Him rather than having everything all sown up.  Great learning curves!

Attractive inside and out.

Today I was struck with the fact that I need to get my focus on God everyday like having a daily shower. If I don't then I feel skanky and smell and people will notice sometimes worse than other days.
A daily shower and daily time for focus on God needs to be part of my daily routine.

Gives me such a cool feeling, almost a high when God is speaking and I am listening and learning. Really love learning.

I want to be a harvest hand

I lack purpose when I just live life. I feel frustrated and aimless.
The times in my life were I have felt fulfilled is when I am in the midst of the harvest. When I know I am making a difference in peoples lives. I feel useful and needed.

I wonder just like a natural harvest if things come and go in seasons. Whether Jesus meant for us to be involved and busy in a harvest then a bit of downtime (winter) for rest.
It is this time that I find the hardest. Sitting around, if I can be planning and dreaming this helps, but the longer the period of inactivity for me, the harder it is to keep motivated again.

Ask you Lord to speak clearly in regards to camping here in Ukraine and specifically the one near Karhylyk.
Possibility of 3 camps a year and winter in another place...God please direct -- your will not mine.

Start to finish

I am not enlightened

I do not have all the answers

I will never arrive

The box is not all there is

Each day I will contradict myself

If I have it sorted I have narrowed my possibilities

My theories are just that

I will continue learning and growing

Interesting...

Really enjoyed this music clip...you could interpret it anyway you wanted, but I love the idea of the drum, and marching to the beat of a different drum.  Also loved the care, courage & determination the leader showed.  Charisma in action...

Joy -- not just a word!

Joy is life in excess, the overflow of what cannot be contained within any one person. (Peterson --The Message)

If this is true, then if our demand and want is huge we will never have an excess overflow.
But if we are happy with less and chosen our portion to be small and what is neceassary then we will always have overflow to spill onto others.
Demand should not drive our lives...living for others should.

My garden

Ministry is determined character. If my character is weak and pathetic and drifts around according to whatever then so will the ministry.

I plant a garden and hope it will grow without any real care to the basics of things that are important. Fruit and plants will come but not the abundance or quality that there is potential for.

I don't want to keep producing pathetic plants in my own strength. I want my relationship with God and my character to be the focus of my life and the rest to be an outworking.

Relationship is key -- first with God, then the others will be right.

Worship as a lifestyle

This can be likened to a marriage relationship. We spend our lives pleasing and loving each other and it's not something we even think about or plan or have to do. One of the crescendos of this love is outworked in the marriage bed. Sometimes we can approach this time as if we push the right buttons then we get a euphoric experience for ourselves.

Worship is the same. Our lives should reflect the love we have for God and it should be an integral part of our reactions and life. It shouldn't be something we have to force ourselves to do or plan. Worship service on Sunday can sometimes be seen as the crsecendo of our love for God. If we approach this with the idea of pushing the right buttons so we can have a mountain top experience then this is empty and also selfish. It should be an overflow of our whole life, and a corporate time to show our love to God. It will only be as good as our daily relationship...just the same as the marriage bed is only as good as our daily loving relationship with our partner.

Passion 2010

The kind of grace at the cross demands complete abandon and surrender.
I'm going to use my life to make Jesus famous.

You can live your life in your own story--which will end OR
We can live in the BIG story--not caring what role but living for His fame and being a part of something bigger and forever.
Trade your little story in for the big one!

Take your hands off

As we pray and seek advice about going back to NZ, I feel as though God is saying to me WAIT! Be still & know that I am God. Stop trying to work it out yourself. You wont be able to know all the details, just surrender and trust. It isn't you who should be choosing where you live -- it is God, will you trust me?
I then read one of my friends blogposts about something very similiar (click here to read)
And then I got this in my inbox... I will post the whole thing here as it is worth reading. It was a timely reminder!

Take Your Hands Off -- by Warren Wiersbe
Read Psalm 46:8-11


"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" (v. 10). The Hebrew word translated "be still" actually means "take your hands off." God is saying to us, "Take your hands off, and let Me be God in your life." So often we want to manipulate and control. We talk about those who are "hands on" people. In the Christian life, God uses our hands. He used Noah's hands to build the ark. He used David's hands to kill a giant. He used the apostles' hands to feed 5000 people. But sometimes only God's hand can do the job. Sometimes our hands get in the way because we are manipulating, plotting or scheming.


A friend of mine used to remind me, "Faith is living without scheming." Whenever I discover myself pushing and prodding, God says to me, "Take your hands off. Be still, and know that I am God." The difference is simply this. If we play God in our lives, everything is going to fall apart. But if we let Him truly be God in our lives, He will be exalted, He will be with us, and He will get the job done.


Are you facing a problem or a challenge today? Are you wondering what you will do? Give it to the Lord. A time will come when He will say, "All right, I will use your hands." But until then, keep your hands off. Know that He is God. He does not expect us to do what only He can do. We can roll the stone away from the tomb of Lazarus, but only He can raise the dead. We can hand out the bread, but only He can multiply it. Let Him be God in your life.


To remain still seems to go against human nature. You want control. But as a believer, you need to remain yielded to God's will and give your burdens to Him. What problem are you facing? Are you keeping your hands off and allowing Him to work in your life?

Social Justice

A thought thread that has been running through my head for the past week or so is the idea of social justice.  Quite a few things have contributed to this...

Check out their website

A21 campaign

One Day's Wages

The Cappuccino Club, sponsoring university students in the Philippines

Christian Enterprise in Kargarlyk, Ukraine (our neighboring town)


As I have read/watched each of these organisations I have to ask the question "What is required of me?"  Like I said in my other blog I really want to strive to have my faith as the center of my life and action, not an appendage.  The verse that comes to mind is Micah 6:8

1.  Walk humbly with God -- foundation to everything else

2.  Love mercy -- my attitude to others

3.  DO justly -- the action (especially to the foreigner, orphan, widows & poor)

I know God is working on me in this area...I think this is one of the latest papers that I have been enrolled in.  I really need a lot of work in these 3 areas.

I was reminded again when watching "Faith Like Potatoes" that my relationship with God is the foundation for anything else.  It all spills from this.
I was also reminded the other day that my attitude needs to be "I have been forgiven much -- so I should forgive a LOT." 
In regards to the 3rd one (which is no good unless the first 2 are in place) I was challenged by this...Are we in love with the idea of helping so much that it blinds us from helping?? Especially watch the 8-16 min mark in this video...

Selfish Living v Kingdom Living

This is what God has been speaking to me about lately...this is my challenge! (click on the image so you can read it)

Present & Future

I was reading Isaiah today...and in light of not yet having children, and on-going disucssions about our future I was encouraged.


Isaiah 60
People Returning for the Reunion
1-7 "Get out of bed, Jerusalem! Wake up. Put your face in the sunlight.
God's bright glory has risen for you.  The whole earth is wrapped in darkness, all people sunk in deep darkness, But God rises on you, his sunrise glory breaks over you.  Nations will come to your light,
kings to your sunburst brightness.  Look up! Look around!  Watch as they gather, watch as they approach you: Your sons coming from great distances, your daughters carried by their nannies.
When you see them coming you'll smile—big smiles!  Your heart will swell and, yes, burst!
All those people returning by sea for the reunion, a rich harvest of exiles gathered in from the nations!
And then streams of camel caravans as far as the eye can see, young camels of nomads in Midian and Ephah, Pouring in from the south from Sheba, loaded with gold and frankincense, preaching the praises of God.  And yes, a great roundup of flocks from the nomads in Kedar and Nebaioth,
Welcome gifts for worship at my altar as I bathe my glorious Temple in splendor.


This is an awesome picture of the future...I want to be a part of this, I want my influence to be so that others too are a part of this.  Although we may never have children, our sons and daughters (people who we can & have invluenced) are the people who we can see also walking towards God's future party.  This should put a smile on our face!  Our influence is important and far reaching, lets use it for the future.


Isaiah 59                                                                                                                                                  We Long for Light but Sink into Darkness                                                                                               ^9-11Which means that we're a far cry from fair dealing, and we're not even close to right living. We long for light but sink into darkness, long for brightness but stumble through the night.  Like the blind, we inch along a wall, groping eyeless in the dark.  We shuffle our way in broad daylight, like the dead, but somehow walking.  We're no better off than bears, groaning, and no worse off than doves, moaning.  We look for justice—not a sign of it; for salvation—not so much as a hint.
This is the present...we long for justice, righteousness, truth, honesty and we need salvation.  God is missing in action.  But it is our job to bring these things into our world.  We long for light, and need to walk toward it, and bring other people with us.


²¹"As for me," God says, "this is my covenant with them: My Spirit that I've placed upon you and the words that I've given you to speak, they're not going to leave your mouths nor the mouths of your children nor the mouths of your grandchildren. You will keep repeating these words and won't ever stop." God's orders.


This is my call...this is my purpose in life.  Maybe not biological children, but my influence is far-reaching.  I am an agent of change to the coming generations.  

To ponder...

Jonos sermon

God has shown me HUGE mercy. He has freed me, turned my life around, given me a second chance and cleared my debt.

What should I do in response?
Freely received, I should freely give!
I need to show mercy to my fellow men, the little things they owe me (time, money, frustration, kindness etc) I should be merciful. Not let them walk over me, but the balance is to forgive and show mercy for the first response.

Demanding life to revolve around me should not be part of my behaviour.  This is not my dialect.

The woman showed her love for God. The righteous man was cold.

The situation was that Jesus had these people in his sphere. Do I have people in my sphere that need God?
Messy spirituality. Cutting edge of life. The sharpening of my faith.

I want this, not really sure what it looks like practically... Lord show us, lead us, guide us.
May we be merciful and characterised by being friends of sinners.

There is nothing I can do to earn Gods mercy and grace. It was a free gift.
Don't charge others for this mercy and grace.  It should be passed on free of charge.

Why do I want God to speak to me?

Make me feel better?
Relieve my guilt?
What he can give me?

Really it's because I want my life to be real. That my heart is full and fresh and it flows out and is a natural part of my life. That I am challenged to become closer to the wholeness of who God is and how to live that in my everyday living.

That's what I really want.

I want to be part of...

A dynamic church

Where challenging in your face sermons aren't few and far between
Where worship is not a list of songs
Where home groups are meant for me, where I can be encouraged, and encourage.

Different church traditions

The further we are away from God the further we are away from our brothers and sisters who worship God in differing ways or believe different things.
We need to be focusing on our relationship with God so it is close and in our interactions with others we should be encouraging them to become closer to God. Not convert them to a religion or denomination but push them closer to God.
Do my interactions with others push others closer to God??

Behaviour

October 26 2009

Christianity is not modified behaviour, your behaviour doesn't change but your heart desires do.

Readers are leaders

25 November 2009

Thoughts...
We believe books have knowledge and kowledge is power.
We also believe the readers are leaders.
I have also noticed that Christians here in Ukraine just don't have the resourecs and books that we have in English. We definitely have a " wealth" of good Christian English books.
So maybe our investment should be into getting good books translated and published at a reasonable price?

Wakeup conference

November 21 2009

It's- been a long time since I've felt stretched and free -- these past 2 weekends have been good for me.
Thoughts:

*Teamwork is what we are missing need to come under leasership that is working rather than trying to fill old wineskins

*Don't worry about future...don't let it crowd out God and trusting him
Write down some pros and cons make a decision --just do it like the book I'm reading (Just do it -- Kevin de Young)

*Adopt a child?? -- small seed of maybe after reading Castaway Kid

Work...

It seems as though I am blogging more about other people's blogs these days than writing stuff myself. Maybe i just find other people's thoughts better written!
Was pointed toward a really good article (although quite long & at times hard to understand) about work & the Christian view of it and economics and such. Rather interesting if you would like to read the whole article by Dorothy L Sayers then click here.

Here's a few snippets of what I especially enjoyed...

"But is it astonishing? How can any one remain interested in a religion which seems to have no concern with nine-tenths of his life? The Church’s approach to an intelligent carpenter is usually confined to exhorting him not to be drunk and disorderly in his leisure hours, and to come to church on Sundays. What the Church should be telling him is this: that the very first demand that his religion makes upon him is that he should make good tables.

The official Church wastes time and energy, and moreover, commits sacrilege, in demanding that secular workers should neglect their proper vocation in order to do Christian work – by which She means ecclesiastical work. The only Christian work is good work well done. Let the Church see to it that the workers are Christian people and do their work well, as to God: then all the work will be Christian work, whether it is church embroidery, or sewage farming. As Jacques Maritain says: “If you want to produce Christian work, be a Christian, and try to make a work of beauty into which you have put your heart; do not adopt a Christian pose.” He is right. And let the Church remember that the beauty of the work will be judged by its own, and not by ecclesiastical standards."