A mark in the sand

An eventful trip, a lesson learned, another rock on the monument -- there are many ways to describe the weekend train journey on the 14th-16th Dec to an unpronounceable (to me) Ukrainian town at the top of the Crimean peninsula.
Let me start at the beginning...
Jon has been playing with a band, and they have had a few concerts, including one in Lviv -- which was a great weekend away. So when I heard about another one in Crimea, I applied for the time off and was looking forward to another great trip.
The trip there was the normal train journey, but as we stepped off the train on a platform (that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere) with snow floating down I remember commenting on how surreal it was for me. An interesting choice of words.
We were taken from there to our hotel where we dropped out luggage and then back to our host's place for breakfast. Not understanding the language it took me rather a long time to figure things out...there were different people there I didn't know, or understand why they were there...things started to become clear as it was translated to me that we were actually part of a youth conference...one that had been in the making for awhile...one that was covered in prayer...where God was really the center. This didn't make too much difference to me...all I wanted at this stage was a shower & sleep. Thank goodness we headed back to the hotel for just that...all was going well.
The next thing that I remember rather clearly was arriving at the church...on entering this building we got the normal stares...and then almost instantly a lady came up from behind and introduced herself to me. Being the dumb foreigner that I am, I gave the standard blank face of 'I have no idea what is going on' until my friend (a God-send actually) helped me out. We exchanged names, and I got the normal response to my name -- it being rather hard to pronounce the 'th' at the end of Ruth in this culture. (I normally get called "Root"!!)
This was about 4pm, and the band started to set up & practice...and here started the long wait & fast! We had not eaten anything since our breakfast at about 10am, so here was hoping we could grab a bite to eat between practicing and the conference starting at 6pm. No such luck...it was practice, then straight into it. I lost interest at the point my stomach started talking louder than the translator! There was a short break...then straight into the concert, finishing about 11pm. I was asked to sell CD's (what I would describe as a bad joke!) after the concert...as you can imagine I wasn't really that successful!! LOL
So by the time we got back to the hotel...to then eat bread with salami & cheese (for the 3rd time that day) I had really had enough. It was at this point that I was regretting my decision to come. I was not looking forward to the next long day ahead!
So Saturday morning arrived...a bit of confusion as to when we were suppose to be at the church...but I decided food was in order, so to the cafe we went...today I was going to be prepared! It seemed that I needn't have worried. The lady who I had met on the first night went out of her way to look after me with food & drinks this day -- not that I could really understand her questions.
So it was after the afternoon session and I was sitting at the back -- bored, cold & no-one to talk to that I started writing down my complaints, that I was feeling homesick, was 4 days overdue ...and my obvious need to learn the language. I wrote about 4 things that had been bothering me. I was really just counting down the hours until we left for the overnight train -- drawing plans for our house to try to keep myself positive.
I'm not sure what changed...but as the last guy got up to preach...I really wanted my friend to translate it for me. He started to talk about losing your first love. He read from Revelation where God was talking to a church...he acknowledged that he could see their hard-work, their faithfulness, that it was good BUT his one accusation against them was that they had lost their first love. The preacher described it as putting activity before relationship. This really spoke to me, it took me back to NZ and the youth work we had been doing, but where was my relationship with God now...I really felt touched & convicted by God. I knew God was speaking to me. I was surprised because it had never really occurred to me that God would convict me through translation of a sermon. I was humbled, glad to hear God again & also very thankful for my friend who was willing to translate for me.
But it didn't stop there...God wasn't just breaking a small peep-hole in my cynical wall, He was goin for 3 strikes! The next thing was the youth pastor got up, and started to give what we call an altar call which for some reason always makes me feel uncomfortable. I think this maybe due to the fact of having it done so many times and no-one responding -- I'm not sure of why my feelings are on this. But this time it was different...I think you could have probably seen my jaw drop as 3 people immediately walked forward when he gave the invitation. It is hard to explain, but I was shocked and again humbled to see how hungry these people are for God, to see fruit and people crying out for Him. It was here that I realized that comfort brings complacency and that because we have everything we need our desire for Him is weakened. It was here that I started to cry, I felt so convicted of my bad attitudes. I felt so humbled, and blessed that God still choose me to be a part of this conference (even though I wished I wasn't there) and that He wanted to teach me & show me some very special things. I was feeling so blessed but yet so undeserving of that blessing, that despite my pride and aloofness these people where being a blessing to me.
Then to really blow my socks off...here came the 3rd strike. As we were standing at the back (I couldn't stop crying) the lady (the one from the first night, who had kept looking after me, despite my coldness) came up from behind and through my friend translating asked me where I was from, how long we had been married etc. She then asked if we had children. I answered no. She asked if we wanted children. I answered yes, very much so. She said to me..."You will have a child, and he will be strong in God. The devil will not want this, but he will be strong in God. Everyday you need to tell him that you love him, and every day you need to tell yourself that you are a good mum for him because God has given this child to you because you are a good mum." I was blown away! She then kinda disappeared off, although I thanked her and apologized that I couldn't speak her language. I really couldn't believe what had happened. With all my bad attitudes, my complaints, God had spoken to them all...he had blessed me when I deserved it least. My tears where like the waves washing away the barriers that I had placed in my mind. I still find it hard to be here...I still struggle with the language and not understanding what is going on and feeling rather useless, but I need to remind myself of this mark in the sand. To start to focus on my relationship with God, my husband & my friends with my heart in the right place, rather than 'doing all the activity'. I get the feeling that is just the beginning...I'm not sure of what's next but I am sure that God loves me & HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!

Chosen

"You did not choose me. I chose you and sent you out to produce fruit, the kind of fruit that will last. Then my Father will give you whatever you ask for in my name." John 15:16
Today was our last day at church & this verse is what will be my anchor for the coming years. The example that was given is as though God was talking to us at halftime -- team talk & that He is saying that we are chosen for His side, not that we chose to join his team. He gave us the invitation to play for Him & I have accepted. Like a marraige promise, He promised to love us, & I have reciprocated that inviation by accepting His ring & promising the same back. It means that as I choose to play on His side, I also choose to accept the terms & conditions -- that I play by His rules & not make up my own 'Jesus' who fits my lifestyle. God has always been looking for people to join his team, to call His own.
The second part of the verse was really revelational too. I understand it best in sports terms. After the team talk & knowing that I have been chosen -- that I have made the team, I now need to get out on the pitch & play my hardest. We are being sent out to go & play & play hard.
This was so pertinent & spoke to me especially today, as I have so enjoyed my cricket in the past 2-3 months. I have rejoiced & felt accepted & part of the team on the weeks I have got the email & found I have made the team. I turn up to training each week, I learn new things, & I practice what I know. I play on the team, still making mistakes but knowing that I have been given the skills, ability & strength to compete. I will always be able to learn more, get better & work better on the team.
I am excited about my part in the team, my job to plant, water & produce fruit that will last. That is why I am here, that is why I have been chosen for God's team.
I want to buy a ring, & engrave "CHOSEN" on it & wear it on my right hand to symbolise this awesome revelation & remind me constantly my position & to keep on playing!
GO GOD'S TEAM!

The facilities will come

God spoke to me the other week during church. I think we were challenged about never under-estimating God & I was praying about our dreams for a camp or something similar where we can minister to kids maybe in Ukraine or wherever God puts us. God really clearly said to me that we should love & help kids & that the facilities would come. That as we have our house fill to over flowing that God will provide the next extension that is needed. I was challenged that if we go & try to sort the facilities out first that they would become the focus rather than the real ministry of loving & helping children. I am so excited about what the future will bring!

I AM NOT NUMBER 1!

I have been challenged a lot lately about this. It is so easy to go through life believing this lie, and only looking out for yourself, moaning when things go wrong & making sure u are comfortable! Well lately i have realised that this is not even that fulfilling. I have been reminded that i should be asking God to bless others, & when i feel the need to start moaning about things i should give thanks for what i have. I know i am incredibly blessed not just with material things but with so much more. Envy will rot your soul, give thanks for what you have & pray a blessing on everyone else!

FREE accommodation

Had a really interesting revelation today during church. The topic was…You are invited. And we were reminded that God invites himself to our place…to spend time with us in ‘our zone’ all the while He is preparing for us place in an eternal venue. As I got to thinking about this eternal venue He was preparing, I was reminded of times I have booked accommodation in the past years…and how I try to get a good deal with all the extras for the best amount of money…but really you only ever get what u pay for! So that makes me think two ways, firstly how awesome heaven is going to be, yet I don’t have to pay any bills (God has paid it for me – what an awesome package deal!)… and secondly that the time & money I spend down here on earth should be as investment for not just my place up there, but other peoples & so other people get to enjoy it also. Kinda like us here in UK saving now, to ‘send back home’, that kind of investment. We make our decisions based on that, we live our lifestyle around that, & our recreation & other luxuries come second to our saving. Kinda puts things into perspective really. I have come to see more clearly how to live life with a heavenly perspective.

28 -- A memorable year!

I have a theory that every 7 years a new era dawns…a new season in life starts. I can feel a new season starting for me…I have changed & grown so much in the past year…and I just know that things will be taking a different direction in the next 7 years to come.

God has really been teaching me things this year… I have been challenged in my thinking & a new focus for life has started to emerge.

I have come to see money & stuff as not important…and don’t need to be clung to!

I have been challenge to not be ashamed of God & that I should live my life as follower of Him out in the open.

I have realized how fast & short life is that I should be focuses on eternal things & making a difference in that realm.

I have also come to realize how significant I am & how much I am loved.

We want to serve God 100% and so we are preparing to do this in Ukraine. My friend gave me this encouragement the other night… “God has reminded me in the past that He will show Himself faithful & in difficult decisions such as these, you need to move forward with the info you have now & God will direct you as you move, not as you stand still!”

So as we plan & dream for life in Ukraine, we know that God is with us, loves us & will direct & provide for us!

BRING ON THE NEXT 7 YEARS!

Busy but not effective, tidy but not used

I was challenged today with this idea. I think so often I have been guilty of creating a busy & comfortable lifestyle that has the right stuff and looks good, but isn’t actually effective toward the Kingdom of God big picture vision. To quote Phil Callaway…“Jesus came to comfort us, not to make us comfortable. I guess I've been comforted enough; it's time to offer some to others. That you would live life on purpose. That my children will hear God's voice despite a noisy culture, and that they will obey.”

Really what I have been challenged with is a departure from selfish living. In looking out for myself & how things are for me, making sure I am happy & safe & have good memories (& a hot shower!) My priorities & what i focus on in life in this last year have been forced to be reviewed. Phil also goes onto say... “But is safety what we're here for? Isn't Complacency the most dangerous place on earth? Isn't Suburbia sucking the life out of our teenagers more than any foreign country ever could?”

I don’t think I can stress how much of an eye-opener & life-changing experience it is for people to get out of their comfort zones & explore other cultures & the world. In NZ we are so isolated, that it requires more effort, but it is certainly worth it.

I am reminded of the Proverb about the well being clean where there are no oxen, but with the strength of an ox comes an abundant harvest. We can choose comfortable, clean & tidy lives over messy, unpredictable selfless living, but we do so in exchange for fruit & harvest – the only things in life that really matter. I know what I want to choose, & I pray that others will keep me accountable to this!

"Catching the fire"

I read this really thought-provoking small book the other day. It was “Catching the Fire” by Don Fleming. I happened to pick it up, and it really grabbed my interest because everything he said rang true in my heart with my thoughts, frustrations & questions about church that I have had in the past decade.

The proportion of the book discussed the blockages the western church has in regards to authentic Christianity. These include, convenience, fervent prayer, our view of the world, expectation of a pain-free life, walking by faith, mistaking sophistication for maturity, giving, hospitality, personal ambition, how we view our time, and the Word of God.

As I read each of these I agreed and things suddenly started to come clear. It wasn’t the particular church we were attending in NZ that had it ‘wrong’, it was that the whole system of church & Christianity in the west that has become a lukewarm sickness. The refreshing I have felt in the ‘developing world’ has been the fire & authenticity of a hot relationship with God. I really have no desire whatsoever to go back to the ‘western’ church setting. I feel that if we were to sink back into that mould, we would not grow to our full potential. Although there are lots of things to be thankful within the western church setting, I believe that the food we need at this time is fresh green natural vegetables & water from a simple ‘non-western’ lifestyle. Anymore rich meats & other goodies would continue the sickness that I have been ill with for awhile. I am so glad I have been made aware of what has been wrong with me, and now have a new prescription for spiritual life.