UK -- Training/University

No year is a wasted year in God's kingdom.
We are shepherds -- we need to keep doing our job, using our gifts and honing our skills.
We are soldiers in an army we need to be alert, keeping our weapons ready.
We are athletes in a race we need to be eating right, training and keeping ourselves fit.
We are students under God's direction we need to keep learning, studying and seeking out the truth.
Although we may feel 'in limbo' and it is much easier to lie down, watch tv & hope time passes quickly, we need to keep on with our lives seeing it from a Heavenly perspective -- where time is to be used not spent!

A meaning-full life

My goal in life is...
To live righteously, honestly & Godly in this present world.
Living righteously means that the guidelines and boundaries for my actions come from the morals I know to be true.
Living honestly means that my life lines up. I have integrity and my beliefs are acted upon, not just sitting on the shelf of head knowledge.
Living Godly means that my focus is on God's will & His kingdom.
Living in this present world, means that I am acting & responding to today's culture rather than running from it.
The only thing that I am passionate about in life is God's work. I belive that only 1 life so soon will pass, only what is done for Christ will last.
The only thing that brings any meaning to my life is teaching, & caring for others. Being hospitable and sharing our lives with those around us.
Through the absence of these things...it has been made obvious to us that our calling and gifting is that of pastoring. We realise now with much greater clarity that we are shepherds, and our life doesnt make sense unless we are looking after sheep. That is what is missing...that is the piece of the puzzle that gives our life sense & meaning!
Wow, this is so liberating...we are shepherds...that is our job...when we do this we will have hardship, heartache & hardwork, but it is were we will find true fulfillment...it is what we we made to do.

I'll take the hard road!

Here's a bit about what God is teaching me at the moment...

We really enjoyed our time in Ukraine, and it wasn't until right near the end that I really started to fit in and make some really great friends.  It is amazing there 'first love' for God, and people 10 years younger are teaching me so much.  It is been interesting the journey God is taking me on and cleansing me of my bitterness and frustrations from the last few years. 

As you can imagine leaving the Ukraine was very painful and continues to be, but we are praying about going back next July for maybe a longer term of 1-5 years. 

On our way back to London we spent time firsthand remembering the Holocaust with Auschwitz and also visiting Schindler's Factory & Corrie Ten Boom's house.  I found out how much freedom & other things I take for granted. We also watched the movie "The Hiding Place" and I was very moved by their ability to rejoice always!  They believed enough to live it not just say it. Amazing ladies!  A poem that Corrie quoted really struck me, it was "Everything looks like a confused piece of embroidery work, meaningless and ugly. But that is the underside. Some day we shall see the right side and shall be amazed and thankful." She also said that we should be trusting God anyway, and that often the hardest part of our lives turns out to be the jewel on the front of the picture.  Been thinking a lot about how we try to take the easy road as much as possible, and now I have stumbled across a book by Tommy Tenney called "Trust & Tragedy" and it is amazing how this lines up with what God is teaching me at the moment.  This year in London is going to be hard for us but I'm also excited by what God can teach me. I can see that we often avoid the hard road for the easy one, but in doing so we miss the jewels that are found on the road less traveled.

Another thing God has restored to me since being in Ukraine is a love & care for people.  I was reminded today of one of my Bible College vision statements which was was to be a loving mother or something like that.  I feel as though God has given me a massive loving heart to reach out my arms and gather as many people into them and just love them.  Although it is hard here, it is great to feel the winter in my heart thawing out and & some growth happening again. 

 

My views on church

I seemed to have settled my views on church at least for the time being now. I kinda think that maybe we go to a church like Hillsong or something 1-2 times a month, as a real good time of worship corporately and teaching. I am finding that maybe a commitment of once a month or 2-3 weeks is much more do-able and then also enjoyable than once a week. It seems to roll around too quick and its like you are locked into some kind of "have to" kind of pressure.
But that for me the 'real' church will be found with a couple or few people who we get on well with and can discuss stuff and challenge each other and actually truly 'fellowship' with and we just spend time with each other and have meals together and want to do that because we are not having to go meetings and programs and stuff. Or as my wise friend (Dave Marsh) once said, find people who can mentor/challenge & input into you and then people who you can mentor/challenge & intput into.
Anyways, that's my thoughts on the subject as of now... maybe it might change with kids, maybe not. I think I have been affected by the 'tranquil' lifestyle in Paraguay, cos the water in my river is flowing slow, cant be bothered with the rush of the currents!

Micah 6:8

What does the Lord require of me?  What am I suppose to do in this life?  I need to do justly, not just do, but be honest about it, and make sure it is just.  I need to love mercy, care for those who are in need, and care also for their souls.  And I need to walk humbly with my God. 

The order of these requirements need to go from the bottom up.  I need to firstly and fore mostly walk humbly with my God, otherwise my love for mercy and cry for justice will be cantered in myself and how I see things should be working out.  Walking humbly with my God requires immersion in His Word, and time spent in His presence, the ability to learn and grow from others and the objectivity to look at myself and see how I fit into God's scheme of things, not the other way round.  It is about putting God in the centre of my life, submitting to His ways and following His commands.  It is a life lived as His servant.

To love mercy requires us to act. Loving is not passive, if we really love mercy we will act loving toward those in need.  We will give off our time & resources for those who are hurting, hungry and in need of love. This maybe in the physical, emotional and also the spiritual arena.  This is the real love in action part of our lives.  This is where the rubber meets the road, and where people will know we walk humbly with our God by our actions that ooze of His love and care.  They will know how much we care, and then will want to know why!

To do justly gives the edge to the rest and defines the whole arrangement.  This is not just a walk-over love, this requires a thought process and supernatural understanding of they way things should work out.  It requires a discerning and a wisdom that will bring things to light that would otherwise be hidden.  It is the necessary tool to bring lasting and long-term healing to situations.  This is the part of our lives where you need to be sensitive but also courageous, where prayer is the most powerful lubricant and where God's ways can be see very clearly without any doubt.  People will not wonder what we are about and why things are the way they are when doing justly is one of our values. 

God working through us will give us love, care & compassion for the care and cure of souls, with the temperance of justice that is need to bring situations to complete healing. 

This is my prayer and desire for us as we head off on the journey with God in our family.

Miss Understood

I reckon this has to be the worst emotion we can feel, loneliness and broken heart aren't that great, but hey at least you know why you feel the way you do, but being misunderstood, well that's a different matter.  Its kinda like feeling 'what the hang' I have no idea here, why I am getting treated this way, or what is going on.  Why cant you understand where I am coming from, and what I was trying to do. You see I think I have spent a lot of my life feeling misunderstood, and wonder whether this strange phenomena is only apparent to me or others also. 

I know for a fact the Jesus must have felt this way often while here on earth, as His agenda was out of this world, a lot of people misunderstood his intentions and actions and wondered who & what the hang He was doing.

Im not so sure about the answers here, I sure would like to be able to make my intentions and actions clear and honest and that be accepted so I don't feel as though all the time I am justifying myself or trying to explain what I mean.  Maybe this is what I will have to live with all my life, maybe my name is destined to be Miss Understood?

Gone past

As I was playing Far Cry the other day (yeah that game is awesome) I was reminded of how important it is to destroy the troops behind you so you can confidently go forward.  I kinda reckon that's the same in our lives.  First we got to recognise its a battle, be on the alert and treat it like one, but importantly we need to have destroyed the stuff in the past that would sneak back up on us and attack us, so we can focus on where we are going and the battle in front of us.  We also need to carry only the necessities and a backpack is all we have to fit this in, plus our memory bank.  Really have to focus on dealing with stuff & moving on!

Making your wildest dreams come true!

O yes I have discovered the secret to fulfilling my dream of being the person I want to be and not the person I would hate to be!!

To not be the person I don't want to be (I.e.. like so & so or other characteristics I determine I don't want to be like) the only cure is to be a women of God's Word and prayer and choose my friends/mentors wisely & deliberately.  There, simple as!

 

Paraguayan Revelation

"Last night I had the strangest dream" Actually it was a revelation, or an enlightening...
I realised that for this next stage of my life, I need to be reading the Bible  to study it and learn & understand WHAT I BELIEVE so I can firmly stand on this foundation.

In the past 3-4 years I had been reading the Bible to CONVICT & LISTEN to GOD'S VOICE, as I lead & pastored young people.  But the focus has now changed. 

Im going to focus on the foundation not the outworking.

In the next 2-3 years I am going to study... Biblical view of work, future events, money & materialism, the Holy Spirit, & evangelism/discipleship and anything else that takes my fancy!